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  1. Hail the Mocktail
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Hail the Mocktail

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A non-alcoholic drinking song to commemorate my tenth anniversary sober.

Lyrics

I’m addicted to those juicy mocktails
Can’t get me enough of those fruity mocktails
Don’t want me none of those alcoholic cocktails
I drink too many and I end up in jail

My favourite flavours of the sweet tasty drink
Include OJ, cranberry, grapefruit and mint
Buy your sexy date a sparkling mocktail
You’re bound to get laid, trust me, it never fails

2008 and the 4th of October
I put down the grog and since then I’ve been sober
I plan to stay dry for now and forever
And just sip on mocktails with straws and umbrellas

HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail

I go to the bar and I order mocktails
The barman looks at me and he says without fail
“Get the fuck out!”
He says to me, “We don’t serve your kind here.
We just offer wine, whisky and beer.”

Not everyone likes to drink those juicy mocktails
I go to some bars and they’re not for-sale
What’s not to love about those fruity mocktails?
The number of virgins is right off the scale.

2008 and the 4th of October
I put down the grog and since then I’ve been sober
I plan to stay dry for now and forever
And just sip on mocktails with straws and umbrellas

HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail

HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail

HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail
HAIL, HAIL, Hail the mocktail

I love ginger ale